a new direction

So, I made an appointment with an acupuncturist. I don't even know what to write. But hey, here's to something new! Unfortunately, the appointment isn't until next monday. So, we'll see.

And thanks all for the therapist suggestions. I will ask my RE. =)

And the gym did help.

Injectible cycle #3. Oh joy.

Oh day 3, here you are again. How I missed you. How I have been counting down until I can give my arm to the phlebotomist every 3 days, shoot myself up with hormones, and try to bring back a modicum of hope for a happy result.

I'm really trying to find some hope here. Anyone have any that I can borrow?

I'm just having a hard time getting going. I've already cried three times today. I cried on the way to work. I cried on the way to the doctor's office. I cried in Target as I was picking out a baby present for a shower that I get to go to tomorrow.

It's funny. (or not) I'm going through the signs of depression, and well, I'm pretty much there.

Anyone know an infertility therapist in the mid.west? If you are anywhere close, I'd be thrilled to email back and forth to figure out a location.

Ok, on a lighter note. My vacation was wonderful. If I could've stayed by the ocean for a few more weeks, I would've. Beautiful. Wonderful to see good friends and relax and just relax. And relax. I'm going to say that five more times.

Did I mention that my mother in law suggested that we adopt? Goodness, I LOVE that woman.

Ok, I'm off to try and build some endorphins at the gym.

Countdown

Until I leave for sunny beaches, unlimited drinks, and a tan for my flabby bod.

Bring it on!!!

ICLW

I very much enjoy ICLW and hope to use this week to read about other people's stories, more to take my mind off of my own.

We're on a break for a month (or so). A brief history of my dh and I:

We've been married for 5 years. We first decided to throw out the OCP's two years ago. I always knew in the back of my head that conceiving would take time. I never knew how long! After about 10 months, I had some baseline testing done through my PCP and then my OBGYN. Did unmonitored clomid for 3 months and then moved on to the RE. With the RE, we did 3 clomid IUIs and now just had our 2nd unsuccessful injectible IUI. It hurts to even write this. While I knew we would struggle, I never knew it would be this much. I also had a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy over the summer to take a look at the girl parts. Good stuff.

So here's our diagnoses:
Me: less then perfect ovulator. Stage 1 endometriosis (that's less than exciting). Extrauterine fibroids (removed and probably not an issue in the first place)
DH: Great numbers but low morphology (2%) on the strict Krueger scale.

This is our journey. We crave crying babies, dirty diapers, and sleepless nights.

beautiful day

The sun is shining where we live for the first time in well over a week. Also, the temperature has climbed well over 20 degrees. The sun and the weather, well, it gives me hope. Maybe. I can't really say at this point that hope is streaming through my veins, because I can't imagine a day where a baby will actually be in our home. Sigh.

I'm sitting in the living room with the windows open. Outside, the mommy brigade sits in their lawn chairs, watching the gaggle of children playing outdoors. Ok, so why did we move to the suburbs? Oh yeah, for the same reason that we bought the SUV. Because we thought that we would have children. I tell you what, best laid plans.......

We're taking another break this month. I'm headed to a sunnier climate...the beach...for vacation with some girlfriends in a couple of weeks...the plus side to the negative cycle is that I can drink to my hearts content at the all-inclusive resort! Woohoo!

Interesting work comment today. One of my partners (who doesn't know about my IF)..who is also ten years older than me and pregnant...said that she is saving her maternity clothes for me, because she KNOWS that I will be pregnant soon. The way she said it was actually encouraging. Am I hanging on every little positive thread that I can take? Probably so.

I just wish the thread would come together into a rope and pull me out of this IF stuff. One can dream.

sigh

I'm so sorry I haven't posted.

My grandma died last week.

I'm not pregnant.

I'm dealing.

Would appreciate thoughts, prayers, etc.

Love to you all.

Week 2

Still here. Enjoying the last few hours of the happy first week of the two week wait. I'll try and make the second week be equally pleasant.

I just don't have anything to write! Later folks. Have an awesome Monday.