Friday, August 21, 2009


Welcome, ICLW'ers! This is my third time doing ICLW, and it is such a fun and memorable experience. What a great way to find new blogs and friends. So, welcome!

Our story in a nutshell. DH and I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years now. We tried for close to a year on our own and, well, it just wasn't happening. I had my ob order some baseline labs, did an HSG and a SA and then got the green light for clomid. We did three cycles of clomid and bd'ing to no avail. Started with the RE in January. DH has low morphology and borderline motility. Did 3 clomid IUI's and all were bfn's. Just finished a follistim IUI with another bfn. (are we sensing a trend here?) Anyway, we're taking this month off before proceeding with another IUI. That, and I'm trying to get my mojo back. IF has a way of taking it away (which we all know so well).

That's us. I'll look forward to meeting some new faces!!

Monday, August 17, 2009


Well, there is nothing like a digital pregnancy test to bring you back to reality. What did it say to me this morning? No -. The funny thing is, when I went to check it after a couple of minutes, I had it upside down, so it read "oN-." And I thought, "Oh good, it's on!"

Obviously, I've never done a digital test before.

It's funny. We were really starting to get hopeful this cycle. I was naseous (damn cold with a lot of drainage, but still), I was tired (damn prometrium and probably a little depression), I was refluxing for the first time ever (damn not eating healthy for the past 2 weeks) , and I felt bloated (damn all of the above).

Excuse my cursing, but I just have to right now.

We're ok. It's weird. I dreamt it would be negative last night, and it was this AM. Bizarre.

We're going to take a month off and resume in September. In the meantime, I'm going to get back on the treadmill, eat healthy, and lose the 15 lbs that I've gained since starting infertility treatments. This is OUT OF CONTROL.

In the meantime, DH is going to do another semen analysis--because of the round cells and the lower count in this last sample--and we'll see.

Do we even have the capability to be pregnant? I just don't know right now. Much less a baby, right?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Murmurings of family

No, that does not mean that I have a big fat positive. It's too soon for that anyway! However, I haven't been too positive on that front...but heck, more on that later. Maybe.

We went to a large family reunion this weekend. It was fascinating. Fascinating to hear stories of generations past, awesome to catch up with close family members, and so very interesting to observe the other 100 or so that you have never met before in your life...and more so, would never recognize as family in the least!

At the large dinner last night with 150 people or so, I found myself observing closely the various divisions of the family. Did all of the couples have children? Young parents or older parents? Obviously adopted children? You just find yourself wondering if the struggles that you are going through run through your family.

Here's what I learned. My great great grandfather and grandmother had 12 children. One set of twins that died in infancy. The other 10 lived to ripe old ages. My great grandfather didn't get married until he was 35 (unusual in the early 1900's, right?). He had his first child when he was 37 and my great grandmother was 35. They had three boys. One of whom was my grandfather. From my own branch, I know that no one had trouble having kids, because everyone has 3-4 and they started having them in their early/mid twenties.

Looking at the other branches of the original 10 was more interesting. There were many that were somewhat older who had children who were younger. One woman, probably in her mid fifties now, was talking to my grandma, and told the ages of her children, and told my grandma she had her first at 37 and her second at 43. She then said that it seemed to be a theme in the family to have children at "older" ages. Ok, I so wanted to ask her if she struggled with infertility. But, probably not an appropriate question to ask a woman who I had just met.

Anyway, family history is interesting, yes?

In my news, no news. My optimism isn't quite bubbling over. (Please detect the sarcasm) I am completely devoid of symptoms that would make me think pregnancy, and my mood has been nothing short of foul when it comes to the likelihood of a BFP. Yes, I need an attitude turn around. I know. I just can't seem to manage it. I'm having so much fun sticking progesterone up in my nether regions twice a day. Knocks my socks off.

Anyway, despite my bad attitude, I had a great weekend. =)


Thank you so much to both Rambler at my world, my ramblings, Clio at Dancing with Gaia, and BB at Baby to Be for this lovely award. I'm honored!

The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So, I'm passing this along to:

Sarah at Babies Everywhere but None That Call Me Mama
Blahed at Within4One
Fran at Everyone else but me
Pie at Slice of Pie
Courtney at Baby Mama Drama
Lorza at Baby Making Journey
Happy High Heels
MC at Dreams Come True...sometimes

Ok, I also am going with eight, since so many of you have already been nominated for this award. Cheers to you all!!

Monday, August 3, 2009

In the wait

Well, despite all of my panicking, the IUI went off without a hitch on Sunday. I didn't ovulate before then, but I do think that I am now the queen of ewcm. Please give me my crown.

DH's numbers weren't as stellar as they have been in the past--20 million this time--but still very normal and respectable in terms of numbers. However, there were some round cells in his sample, and as he is having no signs of infection they think that they are immature sperms--which would go along with his previous low morphology. However, if this month doesn't work then I will be revisiting that.

So now it's time for the 2ww. Whatever will be will be. I'm crossing fingers, toes, and anything else on my body that can be crossed! =)

Thanks again everyone for all of your wise words. What would I do?? =)