You're almost one

On February 9th, 2010 at 5:23 AM, our lives changed forever. I remember sitting with dh in the somewhat dark waiting room watching people sleep, knowing you were in the process of being born. We weren't able to be in the delivery room because your birth mother was having a c-section. Before we knew it though, the OB came out and said that you were healthy and absolutely beautiful. She led us back into the recovery room and there was S (birth mom), holding a tiny bundle....you. You were and are absolutely beautiful. I was struck by all of your dark hair. You nose was smooshed from being born, but you were as calm as calm could be. S reached out her arms and handed you to me, and I was completely a goner. My daughter was in my arms. I stood there for what seemed like seconds, but I never ever ever wanted to let go. What a beautiful and painful three days. Our hearts were pulled in every which direction, because all we wanted to do was be with you. But we had to be patient. S loved you so much. She held you and fed you and took lots of pictures of you. Her love for you was so great that she knew that a life with her would not give you all of the opportunities that you deserved. S made the greatest sacrifice ever, and to her we are beyond forever grateful for you. While we know that God made you for us, He grew you in S.

What a delightful baby you were! While we had our share of sleepless nights, you did start sleeping through the night around 3 months of age. And what an eater you were (and are!). We still shudder at the thought of taking away your bottle, as when you see it, you start laughing and bouncing. Oh, that's my girl.

You are growing up to be such a delightful little girl. Because, at almost one, you are a little girl. No longer a baby, you show your personality full force...and it's a great one! You are such a ham...and you definitely get that from your daddy. Boy, you have him wrapped around your finger. He adores everything about you. In fact, we pretty much race to your crib in the morning when we hear you talking, because your joyful face is the ONLY way to start the day. You laugh (a lot) and you love playing hide and seek and peek a boo. You have NO FEAR, and frankly, we hope you stay that way. You love diving from my arms to daddy's and back again. You fearlessly go up and down the stairs. You love standing in your rocking chair and having someone swing it all the way around. Oh, daddy can't wait to take you to Disney World...this fall! What a fun trip that will be!

You have such a tender heart. You always pat our backs when we are holding you, and you LOVE to give kisses. Now, they are completely open mouth and you do like to lick us in the process, but right now, those are the best kisses in the world. And you try to go after the dogs and do the same thing!

And what a smart girl you are! You love to read books, and we'll find you sitting in your own little chair, book open. You talk in sentences, and we can't wait until we know the words that you are saying. You say "hi" and point and wave. You say daddy and to my chagrin, call me nana...but you know exactly what you are doing, and correct it with mama while you are laughing. You say "uh-oh", "woof-woof", and we swear you say "thank you" and use it correctly! Regardless, hearing you talk is so amazing. We love to hear your voice. You love music as well. You hit piano keys individually and sing along with the music that you hear.

And you are walking! Still tentative, you'll take about 12-15 steps at a time. However, you crawl faster than I run, so that is still your preference...and we are JUST FINE with that. =)

My sweet baby girl. I adore you. I thank God for giving you to us to raise and to be your parents. I consider it the greatest privlege of my life. Next weekend, we'll eat cake and say goodbye to infancy. While that brings tears to my eyes, I am so excited to see the child that you are becoming and what the future brings for you.

I love you so very much-

Mama

tap, tap....anyone out there?

Wow. I think I completely stink at the blog. Ok, not think, know. I could give my age old excuse that life is so busy and I haven't had time (which is true) but wow. Ok, so here I am! Does anyone still come to this blog? Probably not. Miss M is turning one next week! I have so many things to say....but my first order of business is writing her a one year letter. Stay tuned.

7 month (and 1/2)

I CAN NOT believe M is 7 (1/2) months old. Time is absolutely flying! This would've been posted sooner, but we had a death in our extended family. ....

To M on her 7th month:

Oh baby girl, you are growing up so incredibly fast now. I blink and you are doing something new EVERY SINGLE DAY. Your personality is coming out full force now...and just when I thought that my heart would burst from my love for you, well, my heart just keeps getting bigger.

You are the happiest baby that I know. You are always giving smiles, grabbing our faces, talking to us, and your eyes just sparkle. The neatest thing is that your eyes light up particularly for your daddy and I. We come into the room and you grin from ear to ear. Actually, you are a complete ham. You crack up laughing all the time...and you actually get even sillier as you get tired.

You are doing lots of new things now! You have started babbling...a few days ago, in your high chair, you said "mmmmmm,mamamama,mmmmm," then "bububububu", and daddy swears you said dadadada to him, but I haven't heard it yet. =)

You sit forever, and you just started getting from a laying down to a sitting up position today. This all but did away with your naps today as daddy just heard you laughing in your room and when he came to check on you, you were sitting up in bed! Whoops!

You are army crawling all over the place and starting to take some tentative up on all fours crawling steps. You love yoga, I think, as downward facing dog and plank position are done often. You love to stand up against objects as well....

However, I think your true loves continue to be the dogs. If we ever want to hear you laugh and laugh and laugh, we just bring the dogs around. Luckily, they both tolerate you, and the black one adores you. ....

You continue to LOVE food. You've polished off a whole avocado in one sitting, and you love cheese as well. You actually like the baby food too!

You also continue to adore water. It's pretty humorous when you take your baths....now that we are used to what you do...at first, you scared the living daylights out of us! You sit up in the bath tub and then DIVE onto your belly, and swim like a fish. If we put you in the sitting position again, back down you go! We can't wait to get you into a pool again....alas, the neighborhood pool is closed for the year.

What don't you like? Well, you don't take a bink (which cracks me up), you will not let us change your diaper (and that's fun!), but that's about it.

Sept 1, 2010

We finalized. As the judge said, she is, has been, and will forever be yours.

M, you are the love of our lives. I didn't know my heart could be so full.

I will post more. However, the weather is currently GORGEOUS here and I must enjoy.

Oh wait, it's the weight.

So, yeah, it's ok to be 6 months old and be delightfully chubby. It's great to have rolly polly thighs, a dimpled bum, and multiple chins.

It's not ok for the mom.

I've got to lose this infertility, hormones, I have a new baby, I'm back at work, I'm tired weight. Argh. I joined weight watchers online tonight and am on board. I've done WW before, and it just works for me. Now I just have to stick with the program.

6 months old

Dear M-

I can't believe that you are already six months old. In some ways, it only feels like yesterday that we were leaving the hospital, with you in our arms. And now, you aren't a newborn anymore. You're a delightful, happy little girl, and every day you show us more of your wonderful personality!

You're sitting up so well now! And it happened so fast! One day, we were holding you up in the sitting position and the next day, bam! I can do this myself! You love playing with your toys while you are sitting up...and then you love flipping to your tummy and ARMY CRAWLING to try and catch the dog! He's just starting to get used to you. We think he really likes you a lot, but he's still keeping his distance.

You are sleeping all night, usually 11-12 hours. You tell us pretty clearly when you are tired...in fact, really the only time you are upset is when you are hungry or tired. When we bring you your bottle, you start giggling...you are so happy to eat! Speaking of eating, you LOVE solid foods. You've had multiple fruits and vegetables, but your current favorites are sweet potatoes and applesauce. We've had a great time making your baby food. Daddy just bought you some puffs, and you LOVE those too. I'm amazed at your fine motor control already! Today, at lunchtime, I gave you some small pieces of avocado on your tray....and you loved that too!

You are a complete social bug. Stranger anxiety has definitely not hit yet! You love to touch faces, laugh, and talk. While you initially hated the car, now you actually like it now!

You are the love of our lives. We praise God for you on a daily basis, and can't imagine life without you in it. Our hearts are more full than we could ever imagine.

What you like: baths, the swimming pool, food, sleeping, sophie the giraffe, your "pup-pup" (stuffed dog), your activity center, shaking your head "no", the dogs, and cuddling with daddy.

You don't like: getting your diaper changed, changing clothes, pacifiers, and getting your hair brushed.

Words

It's amazing to me how many people have the ability to say exactly what is on their minds, regardless of how it may impact/hurt/affect the person that they are talking to. When I was little, a phrase that my mom often said to me was "think before you speak." Now, hearing that my whole life, I think I may have taken that to the other extreme and now I think TOO much. You know, you're flabergasted, and then speak your reply in your mind for the next 2-3 days. That would be me.

Anyway, I've been reading more adoption blogs lately, and just getting a feel for other people's experiences, lives, etc. Some of the posts that have caught my eye lately are the ones where strangers or friends make comments on:
1. How bad you are for not breastfeeding...without knowing you adopted (btw, what a serious idiot Gisele Bundchen is)
2. How your child doesn't look like you
3. Asking if your child is adopted

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm PROUD that M is adopted. I love telling our adoption story. At the same time, I don't want the focus to be that she is adopted. I want the focus to be that she is our daughter.

I digress. Ok, so we were with a group of "friends" the other day, and I was talking about M's hair. M has curly hair, and I'm a straight-haired girl, so I don't have much experience with the curly...so, I'm learning as I go. So, I was talking about her hair, and one of the girls said, "Well, I have a friend that adopted a mixed baby too...."

Whoah, sister. I mean, is it just me or is the term "mixed" pretty derogatory? I'm not the PC princess by any means, but seriously? Not that we go around saying "transracial" or "rich genetic heritage" but seriously?

I wouldn't have gotten my panties completely in a wad, but this is the second time this lady has said that...the first being, "M is mixed, right?" My response was, "M's bfather is hispanic and her bmother is caucasian."

So, I still didn't respond. It's the whole think before you speak crap. I have too much of it. But, this is likely to come up again. Do I have a response or do I just smile?