Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Down Day

Yet another gal in our office is pregnant. In the past 12 months in an office of 30 people, we've had five pregnancies, one set of twins (no IF), and too many office baby showers to count. I'm tired of my happy smile and my celebratory congratulations. I'm so tired of putting on the happy face.

On the way home today, I entertained the thought of this IUI not working. I saw the next several months stretched ahead with shots, labs, ultrasounds, and BFN. All while every belly in my office but my own is growing. And then I thought, can I go through this again month after month after month? When does this end? When is the news happy?

I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know if I'll be strong enough. I hope that I don't have to find out. But there is that reality that I might.

Today is just a down day. That's all.

6 comments:

Just me said...

One of my coworkers who I'm friendly with just had a (preterm) baby.

Her shower is this weekend.

I'm not going.

I feel a bit like a bitch... but it's just not healthy for me.

Lorza said...

{{HUGS}} That does suck. I was listening to Sirius radio this AM- The Morning Mashup...and they have this thing that is "Tell Me Something Good"..THREE out of the four people calling in were sharing news of their pregnancies as their "Something Good". I wanted to vomit.

I have said this before, and I will say it again...WE HAVE TO POPULATE THE MOON at the rate all these new babies are popping out in the world...either that or develop a bubble on the bottom of the ocean.

Anyways...hope I distracted you a little. :)

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Erika said...

You know, its tough all the time, and down right HARD sometimes too. I've worked at my current job for 5 years. each year we have had at least 1 baby. Last year we had 4. One to a woman who couldn't even take care of herself.

I'm sorry today was horrible. I hope its your turn soon to announce to your office that you're pregnant!

Lucky Jones said...

I'm sorry you are having a rough day... IF is a bitch of a roller coaster.

Chin up,, the feelings you are having will pass and determination will set in again!

GL on your IUI, I will be keeping tabs on your blog...

Fran said...

Well, worry about one thing at a time. First, stay focussed on this IUI cycle, then you see how it goes and only afterwards you may be allow to worry about the future. It's not easy I know, I'm the same, but it's still a good advice :o) What happens around you, you can't control, and because we have feelings it's not possible to fence off things that may hurt us (other people's pregnancy news) but we are also great at adjusting. Tomorrow will be a better day. Love, Fran

A said...

Days like that are so tough, but we have all been there and know how you're feeling!! I hope your spirits pick up soon and the IUI is a huge success!!